A New Hammock for Your Banana

We’ve all seen the ads. Bodybuilders, stark naked save for little white undies. Advertising a lifestyle where we all have the time and energy to go to the gym all day, hairless, tanned, and with a swans that would put Ron Jeremy out of business.

It’s true. The everyday gentleman is not the target of these or many other marketing campaigns. Calvin Klein, 2Xist, and other department store underwear brands are the tame ones, too. By comparison, check out Andrew Christian’s commercials, something that would make John Waters blush. The department store brands feature black and white photos, plain looking guys (for a model), and honestly, the products don’t look a whole lot different from the multipack brands either.

But there is to something to say in all this. Is that expensive underwear any different, or any better than “regular” stuff? Short answer is absolutely.

There is something not discussed in the world of everyday men’s fashion. Women’s fashion often uses words like support and comfort when describing underwear. However, in the men’s world, we all are deaf to the idea that we do, indeed, have an appendage between our legs. Drawing attention to it seems impolite, even when discussing underwear, the very thing that will make our life infinitely better when going about our day to day.

The Pouch

Sure, many of you will be naysayers on the matter. Awkward to even consider buying designer underwear, or perhaps unwilling to pay the premium price. However, I submit to you - just try one pair.

The briefs and boxer briefs are indeed built differently. They are not designed on the flat front model that is created to minimize any and all sight of your package. It’s a relic of former era of torture, the equivalent of foot binding and corsets. But today, we have underwear that actually has a designed cup, to hold you in place in an ergonomically pleasing way - and without making you look like you have a softball in your pants.

What’s the point?

Aside from aesthetics and ergonomics? Nothing. It’s underwear. Be comfortable and don’t get caught up in the image marketers promote. Just because brands want to convey an image of metrosexual culture, doesn’t mean you have to buy into it to enjoy them. Even when brands like Andrew Christian and Papi market directly to the gay community, and feature a number of sweet and sassy colors, give them a try if you think they are the right fit and style for you. No one is going to see you in your skivies unless you want them to, anyway.

After all, you bought that Carhartt jacket last week, are you going to work construction anytime soon?